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I love your necklace
...but you CAN go too far, man. People do wind up dead in alleys or dead from choking to death on their own vomit or... yes, even becoming too malnourished and thin. I know you can read any Jimmy interview in the world and he'll tell you that he took drugs and drank and starved himself to the point of almost needing hospitalization, and he'll tell you himself that he doesn't regret a thing and it was all for the music and blah blah blah, but as much as I admire him, Sav, I still think he was an idiot for diving in that deep. He was fucking LUCKY he lived through it.
I know you haven't gone as far as he did, but for the love of god, Sav, don't make that your goal. Learn from him. Be inspired by him. Don't fucking BECOME him.
It's really hard for a friend to look out for a friend, but Sav. You've got so much promise as a musician and artist, it's ridiculous. You don't even realize how fucking gifted and incredible you are sometimes, and to say that "you don't want it to stop" and "you wanna see how far you can go" is fucking painful, dude. It's like you're spitting in people's faces. Mine included.
This is hard for me to say, man... this is really hard to say. I've held my tongue for years, watching you do this and that, and I've smiled and nodded it off every time, but the truth is, I'm fucking worried about you, man. We all are. Get your shit together. I'm not going to see someone I've gotten to know and had some of the best online laughs with not wake up one morning because she took things too far.
Anyways this has nothing to do with vanity or what I want people to perceive me as. This is a control issue. It's a coping thing that has nothing to do with looks or weight.
Also, I don't want it to stop, yeah, but ask anyone with an eating disorder and a large part of them doesn't want it to stop. Just like someone doing drugs. Like, I drink too much, and I know I shouldn't but I don't want to stop. I guess my eating disorder is like an addiction I'm not ready to quit. And trust me, I feel guilty as all hell when everyone around me is telling me to just stop it and get some help and I won't. I feel like a selfish bitch, but fuck I've gone to a shrink and I just can't mentally do it right now.
You're a beautiful girl